Dating in your 40s
And since you are now a wise, mature adult (or better at acting the part), you know it’s not a big deal to cut a guy loose by telling him that you’re not feeling a click. On the other hand, you might feel a huge click with a guy who doesn’t share any of your interests But since you’re more mature and wise, you get that shared values and personality characteristics are more important than shared interests. Beware the newly-divorced You will hear a lot of people talk about snagging good catches when they’re leaving their first marriages. But remember that newly-divorced men come with a lot of baggage. They might not know how to take care of themselves, and they might have complicated custody issues that keep them from travelling. Single, independent, accomplished 40-year-olds know there’s nothing to fear in being alone. Even your feminist friends will treat your single state as a project they need to fix …and they will spend much creative energy trying to find you a match.Depending on who it’s coming from, this can be flattering or very insulting (especially the friends who urge you to compromise).Unlike the wide-eyed and malleable people you were dealing with in the early years, this person has experienced life, formed their own opinions about the world, determined what they want, who they are, and how they want to live their lives.The probability of your changing them is pretty low, even if they fall in love with you.
Get rid of the "Perfect List.”Be realistic, but don't settle. Don't look for crazy chemistry (again, you're not 20 anymore), look for affection, respect, love, honesty, and someone you can see being your BEST FRIEND and LOVER for the rest of your life.
Children are not for everyone, but there’s a lot of social pressure on women to procreate.
Sometimes I wonder if we convince ourselves we want children without really examining it.
In my experience, younger men really don’t care much about age differences.
Also, since you’re done with the aforementioned race to beat the biological clock, you can just date who you want, when you want, for as long as they are interesting to you. When you’re in your 40s, you know a lot more about the nature of sexual attraction Sure, you’re mature enough to think someone who might not be obviously attractive is worth investing some time in, but you also know that a guy who gives you a negative feeling – either physically or intellectually – is not someone you want to see again. You might come to realize that marriage is not for everyone I have plenty of happily married friends; but a couple of my closest friends compromised their happiness because they were afraid to be alone.
Search for dating in your 40s:
Don't fall prey to the unrealistic and relationship-killing "perfect list," because that person doesn't exist. Crazy chemistry is a wonderful thing, but not necessarily an indicator of a lasting love. Just like the person you're seeking, you've gone through some struggles, grown, changed, and are different from the person you were 20 years ago. And, although you may feel like a teenager being back out on the dating scene, you're not.