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Don’t get clouded by what they claim, but decide by how they act in private.

Above all else, and this applies in any relationship, don't ever let someone treat you like you're beneath them.

Let’s all take a second to acknowledge the quotations around Christian.

Feel free to imagine me reading this title out loud, throwing up air quotes and adding in an eye roll for good measure.

Don't let them have that power of you, and wield it so that they can take advantage.

No one should make you feel like you're lower than them, that you aren't equals.

"At this point, I'm happily resigned to not ask a girl out at church ever again."This was one of the first statements I heard from the group of four Christian men I interviewed last week—and we'll just call them Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

Those quotation marks and exasperated eye roll are an indication that, no, I do not mean that I am repelled by believers.

It means I am so over the fake Christians who declare their faith for attention, then treat you the same, if not worse, than men who claim nothing at all.

However, as the years have passed by, the dates I've had with men at church have been rather few and far between.

And I'm not the only woman who has found this to be true. On a mission to answer this question, and many others, I talked informally with a group of men in New York City, and then sat down with the guys from Bel Air Presbyterian to chat about the pursuit of love, about Christian dating, and about why on earth they don't want to date women who go to their church.

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That was appealing to me because, as a Christian woman, these men should have been the absolute best to date.

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